It has been two years since Matt, age four, and his two older sisters, Hannah age five and Emily age seven, last stayed with us.  When we first welcomed them, they had experienced more emotional trauma in their short lifetimes than anyone should ever have to bear.  It was not uncommon for their father to drink excessively and he often took his frustrations out physically on their mother. 

One time, after a fight, their father began hitting their mother and throwing beer cans at her and the children.  In defense, she grabbed a knife and began stabbing him multiple times, while the children watched in horror.  With their father severely wounded and their mother in jail, the children were brought to Youth Haven. 

Within a month, Mom was released from prison and began to take the necessary court-mandated steps, eventually allowing her children to return home.  This reunification would turn out to be short lived, as no more than two weeks later, a neighbor witnessed Mom violently cursing and punching Matt and his sisters in the face and head, leaving horrific bruises on their tiny bodies.  We would later come to find out that she would traditionally lock the children in a room for hours at a time, withholding food and water. 

The children are now back with us, after their mother and her new boyfriend left town, abandoning them.  It is unclear whether she intends to return, but Matt and his sisters are safe now in a loving environment with regular, hot meals.  We are so happy that they have one another and are enjoying the freedom to run, laugh, and just be kids. 

Last week, we welcomed eight year old Elizabeth into our emergency shelter.  Clutching her favorite Barbie doll when she arrived, the visible reminders of her mother’s relentless, violent temper were apparent.  Elizabeth’s frail body was covered with bruises and welts, physical damage unlike any we have seen in recent past.  Elizabeth states that Mom does not hit her, but rather “whoops her with a belt.” This is the third time Elizabeth has been taken from her home, with the evidence of years of abuse permanently etched in her young memory and on her tender skin. 

Elizabeth, like many other children who have been physically abused, does not like to talk about her past, preferring to lay down, cover her eyes, and search for internal healing.  Neither Elizabeth nor her mother knows who Elizabeth’s father is, with multiple partners being a possibility.  There are no other nearby relatives for Elizabeth to turn to for guidance and she routinely spends her days home alone while her mother is working or hanging out with her friends.  Her attendance at school was sporadic. 

Today, at Youth Haven, Elizabeth loves to play soccer and go rollerblading, but most of all she enjoys the attention and support she is receiving.  She feels appreciated and valued and is continuously praised for her amazing accomplishments.  Her grades have significantly improved.  She no longer eats dinner alone and has begun to call Youth Haven her “real home.”

Many months ago, eight year old Joey came to Youth Haven as a frustrated, deeply saddened and angry young boy. At times Joey’s anger, especially during the school day, would quickly escalate, becoming completely uncontrollable. He would throw papers, swear, scream and disrupt others in the class. Joey’s anger was so violent that many times he had to be physically calmed to prevent him from hurting himself or the other children.  His unpredictable behavior was the result of emotional turmoil that had filled his young life. All Joey had ever experienced from day one was severe neglect by both his mother and his father, resulting in his  eventual abandonment by  them. As with all children who come to Youth Haven, Joey received a psychological evaluation by our clinical team with a therapy plan created to address identified behavioral and mental health concerns. The severity of the neglect Joey had experienced resulted unquestionably in grave issues that needed to be addressed with ongoing counseling support  so this young child could begin to heal.  

According to his clinician, “Before coming to Youth Haven, this little boy lived with the pain of knowing that his parents just cast him aside, and he had a firm belief that he was not loved by anyone. Joey was convinced that he was "stupid", after being teased by classmates for not being able to read or write. His self-esteem was dangerously low. Eventually, he had stopped caring altogether and lost the motivation to even try.”

Although Joey’s future will hold many more months, and possibly even years of counseling, the hope and encouragement he has received already in the short time he has lived with us has made an extremely positive impact on his demeanor and feelings of self worth.  Joey is a completely different boy from the lost soul who first came here.  For the first time in his life, he has begun trusting others, and the many hours of one-on-one tutoring support is paying off as he is now reading and writing and soon will be on track with his fellow classmates.  Speaking of classmates, he has made new friends who do not tease him and he is experiencing a joyful childhood.

Joey left Youth Haven recently for what is sure to be a brighter future, as he was welcomed into his grandparent’s home who love him dearly.  On the day he left Youth Haven, Joey’s grandmother tearfully hugged each and every staff member saying  as she was leaving, “I’ll never forget what you have done for us….you took a little boy that you didn’t know and showed him that life and people can be good.  You taught him how to trust and love again and each time he hugs my neck I will think of you all.”